I was 20, single & pregnant – guys were put off by me carrying another man's child but a Tinder date changed my life – The Sun
FINLEY Vile, 22, works in marketing and lives in Devon with boyfriend Dalton, 22, a warehouse worker, and son Archie, 11 months.
“Looking through my wardrobe, I couldn’t decide what to put on. ‘What on earth does a pregnant woman wear on a date?’ I thought, before deciding on a cosy jumper and heading out before I changed my mind.
It was November 2023, and at 19 weeks pregnant, I was going on a first date with a man I’d met on Tinder.
Three months earlier, my ex of five years and I had decided to part ways.
Two weeks after that, I found out I was pregnant. I felt shock and terror, but also joy – I’d always wanted kids.
However, being an expectant, single mum at 20, while I was building my career in marketing, wasn’t something I’d planned.
Although my ex and I initially decided to co-parent, we soon realised it wasn’t going to work out – I’d be raising this baby on my own.
Thankfully, I was still living with my mum Natalie, 54, an administrator, and my dad Ji, 54, a handyman, in Devon, while I continued to work, and they were super-supportive.
I’d joined Tinder soon after the break-up.
Of course, once I discovered I was pregnant, dating was the last thing on my mind. This baby was a blessing and I wanted to be its mum more than anything, but the thought of being single forever loomed over me.
I knew lots of guys would be put off, but perhaps there would be some who wouldn’t mind? If I found one, then great, and if not, so be it.
I could always start dating again when my baby was older.
Collating a selection of my favourite pictures and a photo of my ultrasound, I made sure that I disclosed I was pregnant in my Tinder bio.
Surprisingly, I had a handful of matches from some good-looking blokes. But as I suspected, they soon ghosted me when they spotted I was pregnant.
Then, one night, a profile caught my eye. Dalton had the warmest smile and kindest eyes. Swiping right, I hoped for the best, and a few minutes later I got a message from him saying hello.
‘You know I’m pregnant, right?’ I nervously typed, waiting for him to disappear. Instead, he just said: ‘Yes.’ I explained what had happened, and he didn’t seem deterred in the slightest.
Later that week, we arranged to meet on Exmouth Beach. I had lots of first-date nerves, but they soon melted away as we chatted about our upbringings, favourite films and everything in between – we had an instant connection.
When I asked why he didn’t mind I was going to have someone else’s baby, he replied: ‘Because I know an amazing person when I see one.’
When I asked why he didn’t mind I was going to have someone else’s baby, he replied: ‘Because I know an amazing person when I see one'
We quickly became inseparable. Being from a blended family, Dalton was used to a non-traditional household, and his family were just like him – warm, kind and loving, especially his mum Anna, 47, who welcomed me with open arms.
My family were also happy for us, with my mum agreeing that when something’s right, you just know.
Meanwhile, my bump was getting bigger and bigger. Whether it was a check-up with my midwife, an ultrasound or a late-night ice-cream run, Dalton was always there for me.
Like me, he’d never been that into partying, so although our lives were very different from your average 21 year old’s, he never minded sitting in with me rather than going out.
On March 29, 2024, Archie was born, weighing 7lb 2oz. As I held him in my arms, Dalton and I both cried tears of joy.
He moved in with me and Archie at my parents’ that month, and we’re saving for our own house. I never feel awkward if I have to explain our situation to other people.
Families come in all shapes and sizes these days, and Archie is such a happy baby.
He and Dalton have the closest bond. If Archie wants to have a relationship with his biological father later on, I will be supportive, but he will always know Dalton as the dad who raised him.
We’d love to have more children, but for now we’re happy as a family of three.
If I’ve learned anything from the past year, it’s that sometimes the best things in life take you by surprise – and then you just have to go with it.”
Supermodel Heidi Klum fell in love with singer Seal while pregnant with her ex-boyfriend Flavio Briatore’s baby.
©News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. “The Sun”, “Sun”, “Sun Online” are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers’ Limited’s Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy. To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. View our online Press Pack. For other inquiries, Contact Us. To see all content on The Sun, please use the Site Map. The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO)
Our journalists strive for accuracy but on occasion we make mistakes. For further details of our complaints policy and to make a complaint please click this link: thesun.co.uk/editorial-complaints/
Ad Choices