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Kylie Kelce is certainly hitting some “new heights” as a podcast host.
In the second episode of her podcast, “Not Gonna Lie,” Kylie Kelce — mom of three with one on the way — created a helpful yet pointed list of items that she does not want friends and family to purchase for her children this holiday season.
“Last week, I got honest about pregnancy,” activist and wife of retired NFL star Jason Kelce said. “This week I’m feeling in the holiday spirit, so let’s get f—— real honest about kids toys.”
Kylie isn’t known for her ability to quietly sit on the sidelines, and after urging listeners to donate toys to local charities, she delivered some “harsh reality” about which presents would not be welcome in her home.
“Don’t do that to people. Guys, don’t bring them a toy that requires assembly,” Kylie said.
When a child sees a picture of a toy on the side of the box, “they immediately want to play with it,” Kylie explained. “You know what that kid’s going to do? They’re going to stand behind you and say, ‘Are you done yet? Are you done yet?’”
If you must give a toy with complicated assembly, Kylie recommends putting it together yourself.
“Hard pass on anything covered in glitter,” Kylie said, adding, “I am still so shocked that we have not figured out a way (better than a glue base) to keep glitter attached to surfaces.”
Because she has three daughters, “pretty much everything we get has glitter on it, and it makes their heart so happy.” With that thought, Kylie softened her position slightly to say, “I can’t veto glitter as a whole, but I need you to gift something that glitter is sealed. I need it attached to that surface. I need it not leaving it.”
“When Wyatt was 2, she got an electric drum set and it had one switch on it: on and off. It had no volume control,” Kylie said on the podcast, which is aWave Sports + Entertainment Original.
Even after taping over the speaker and laying out a blanket underneath it, Kylie “could not get it to not be just assaulting everyone’s ears when she was playing with the toy. And so it got retired after a week of living in our house.”
The following Christmas, the same gift giver (who Kylie originally said would remain nameless) purchased another drum set. Because this drum set had a volume control, the girls were allowed to play with it.
“But there’s a deep amount of guilt associated with the fact that I hid a Christmas gift from my child because I couldn’t stand to listen to that damn thing for one more minute at the volume that it was playing at,” Kylie admitted.
After a beat, she added, “So sorry, Ed,” calling out her father-in-law.
“Please don’t gift my children living creatures,” said Kylie. “I don’t want to care for anything else.”
To make things clear, she added that though the kids have not yet been gifted “anything with a heartbeat,” she suspects that day will come, and when it does, she will return the gift to the sender immediately.
“Let’s be real. You’re not giving it to the kid. You’re giving responsibility to that parent. And I’m already proud of myself when I can keep three children alive each day,” she said. “I don’t need to be working on any more pets, specifically, pets that I have not chosen to bring into my household.”
Kylie is completely uninterested in picking up toys with random small pieces that end up scattered under the couch, in the trash or in their non-working fireplace, otherwise known as “the pit of despair.”
“Most likely it will end up as a not full set. And then what good is that?” she asked.
If you don’t heed this rule, “you’ve now created a negative dynamic between the two of us,” and Kylie will hold a grudge against you.
Kylie said that she “hopes this goes without saying,” but she has zero interest in any toy that could be considered a weapon.
“I do believe, if you listen to another podcast, you may have heard when Ellie got picked off in the backyard by an airplane gun by Wyatt,” Kylie said. “So they’ve proved that they have not earned the trust required to receive weapons because they will try to take each other out, and I don’t want to mediate any of that again.”
Rosie Colosi lives in New Jersey and is a reporter for TODAY Parents. She has bylines in The Atlantic, The Week, MSNBC, and PureWow, and she has written 33 nonfiction children’s books for Scholastic, Klutz, and Nat Geo Kids. Once upon a time, she played Mrs. Claus in “The Rockettes’ Radio City Christmas Spectacular,” but now she mostly sings songs from “Annie” to her two daughters … while they beg her to play Kidz Bop.
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